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Our relationship with ourselves is our most important relationship.
 
Usually, when we talk about relationships we are thinking about those that happen between two people. However, the most important relationship we have is with ourselves—between our own authentic spirit and ourselves.
 
We often see ourselves in ways that don’t reflect who we truly are. 
 
We start out building our lives with good intentions, but after a while, we find ourselves drifting through life as someone we don’t even recognize. If you have ever asked yourself “Who am I?” or “How did I get here?” you probably know what I’m talking about. Perhaps in reviewing your life you question the choices you have made. 
 
Building a good relationship that authentically reflects your spirit starts with a few questions: Does my life reflect who I really am, or who I want to be? Who do I want to see when I look in the mirror? What do I want to be, do, and have? Are you allowing your true self to be expressed? If not, you might want to consider making some personal changes.
 
Change is an Opportunity
 
At any moment, you can make the decision to change directions and start to reconnect with your spirit. It will take some work, but I promise that it will be worth it in the end. Take a look at your life, and if it doesn’t reflect who you really are or who you want to be, make the choice to change direction.
 
Often, we outgrow the commitments or habits that we’ve made earlier without realizing it. These commitments and habits shape our lives over time, and we lose sight of our true selves. If you’ve been feeling lost or unhappy, consider this your invitation to wake up. It is time to reconnect with what your heart desires.
 
Focus on Your Feelings
 
Most of us, particularly women, are taught to take care of others before we consider ourselves. As life passes, we can forget about ourselves completely and focus solely on the needs and wants of those around us. This can become an incredibly draining way to live, and before you know it, you’re unhappy and don’t feel like yourself, and you don’t really know why. In order to bring more joy and meaning into your life you’ll need to learn when and how it is appropriate to care for others, and when it’s time to step back and care for yourself.
 
I experienced this when I was married. I let my husband make most of the decisions in our lives. He had the last say in how we decorated our home, where, what and when we ate and what social commitments we made. Those of you who know me are often surprised to hear me say that. In other areas of my life, I’m a pretty take charge woman. In my romantic and personal relationships though I had previously felt it was easier to not make waves and just accommodate those in my life. I almost never spoke up about what I really wanted. Over the 20 years I was married I slowly lost track of who I am.
 
This way of relating to those in my life started in childhood. My mother was a pretty demanding person and wanted things to be done her way or else. I learned that if I did what she wanted I was safer and could please her. There were consequences to face if I didn’t comply.
 
After my divorce I realized I had an opportunity to get in touch with myself and start expressing my needs and wants. To start expressing who I really am. The only problem was that I didn’t know what I wanted and I’d become someone that I didn’t recognize. I had lost my whole identity, and I felt lost.
 
I had to start small. I asked myself throughout the day “What do I want now?” When I turned the television on I asked what would I like to watch? When I was sitting down to eat, I asked “what do I really feel like eating now? You may be thinking these questions are silly.  When I was married though I always asked “what would my husband want to watch or eat? It took me a while to even know what I wanted for these everyday choices. It had been such a long time since I had gotten in touch with my soul and what I really desired.
 
It takes practice to get back in touch. Be honest with yourself, and sooner or later, you’ll begin to uncover your true passions and desires.
 
One way to start is simply to take note of your own feelings. With practice, you’ll learn to recognize your true desires. A good way to practice is to start a journal and record your own thoughts and feelings every day. Write down what you really want. This is important: it is easy to know what you don’t want, but sometimes we’re so disconnected from what we actually do want, we’ve lost sight of it completely. Write it down. Be honest with yourself, and sooner or later, you’ll begin to get in touch with your true passions and desires.
 
Learn to Express Yourself
 
Have you got into the habit of just “going with the flow?” If so, maybe it’s time to take a step forward and begin to ask for what you really need and want. 
 
Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes and ask yourself “what do I really want today, right now and who do I really want to be”?  Discover your passions and find a way to include them in your daily life.  If you have no idea what your passions are anymore, ask your inner guide to help you uncover those things that will make you happy and bring joy into your life and then take the steps that will lead you in that direction.
 
Simply becoming more aware of how you act around others and how often you accommodate them without regard for yourself will help you make the changes necessary for a happier, more fulfilling life.
 
A big part of connecting to your authentic spirit is finding your inner creativity, whatever that looks like for you. As a reminder tomorrow is the last day you can enroll in My Story: Then and Now. In the workshop you’ll have an opportunity to get in touch with who you really want to be and your ideal life and then write a new story and create a new persona reflecting those desires. 
 
Put the work in, and your true self will begin to shine through, and bring you back to who you truly are.