I normally don’t discuss political issues but today I feel I must. March 22nd marked 50 years since the Equal Rights Amendment was first approved by the U.S. Congress and sent to the states for ratification. It has still not been ratified and so is still not the law of the land. Yesterday we learned the Supreme Court may be preparing to make it illegal for a woman to have the right to say if she wants to have a child or not, no matter what the circumstances.
Whether you believe in abortion or not the issue of concern for me is that as women we are not demanding that we have equal rights, equal pay and the ability to determine our own futures. So many of my clients give their power away to the men in their lives and to the government. I am guilty of this as well.
When I was younger there were many times when I agreed to have unprotected sex because I was afraid that if I didn’t the man that I wanted to be with would leave me. I was willing to put my health and future at risk out of a longing to be loved. I also got married in part because I believed that my husband would take care of me. This desire came from believing that even though I had been supporting myself for years that somehow I wasn’t able to provide my own financial security without being married. I just didn’t trust or believe in myself. I didn’t believe that what I wanted mattered.
During my marriage, even though I had my own business my husband asked me several times to get what he called a “real job” because he was uncomfortable with the variations in my income as an entrepreneur. Twice I agreed and got a job that I didn’t want in order to please him. I don’t blame him for these decisions. I agreed to sidetrack my career and personal growth. The fault lies with me for being willing to put his desires and needs ahead of my own. As women we are trained to be caretakers.
We also still allow ourselves to be treated like children giving up control of our finances to others who we deem more qualified. Often letting the men in our world decide what they think is best for us.I know being responsible for our own decisions is difficult. Challenging ourselves to make make more than enough money to support ourselves and our dreams is hard. Learning new skills like how best to manage and grow our money isn’t easy but it allows us to be in control of our lives.
For many of us it goes against what we were taught about who women are supposed to be. It’s very uncomfortable to ask for a raise, stand up for what you need and want in a relationship and insist that our government allow us the same rights that men have but we are powerful and resilient. We can do this. Let’s start with taking control of our own financial wellbeing. Let’s use our money to help shape the decisions our government makes and demand that we have equal rights in every way.
If you have been putting off taking control of your finances, afraid to see where things stand, I am here to help. Please stand up for yourself in this way. Be willing to become clear about how much money you make and spend. Learn how to make wise decisions about how you manage your money and how to grow it. Click on the link below and let’s talk. This can be a first step in supporting yourself and taking back your power.