Money Coaching for Couples
We all crave intimacy. Often, we fall in love and make the choice to live with someone without ever talking about money. We all receive different messages about money when we are growing up including things like:
- Saving money is important.
- It’s OK to have some debt.
- You should always pay off your credit card balances in full.
- You should cut coupons to save money.
- If you spend money on healthy food no matter how much it costs you will save money by never needing to go to the doctor.
You can see that many of these messages are contradictory. It is very rare that you and your partner were told the same things. Often, your views on money, spending and saving, are very different. This can cause problems in your relationship.
When you first move in together there are a lot of financial choices that need to be made.
Will you join your money and pay for everything out of your shared account or will you keep separate accounts, and each be responsible for certain bills?
Will you split things 50/50 or if one person makes a lot more than the other will you choose to divide things by a percentage of income?
We often make assumptions based on our desires of how things will work financially but rarely discuss these with our partner. Then we move in together and become disappointed because the one we love chooses to do things differently than we imagined.
Money Coaching for couples will give you an opportunity to increase trust and intimacy in your relationship. It can be hard to explain your feelings about money to your partner and many couples hide expenditures from their significant other.
For example, have you ever spent $500 or more without telling your partner? You’re not alone. Roughly 1 in 5 Americans admit to doing so. (And you’d be surprised to know that both women AND men report hiding some type of money behavior—from secret spending to having a secret bank account.) This behavior is often fueled by fear and distrust.
If getting on the same page feels impossible, a cycle can start to embed itself in the relationship:
- Fighting about money can lead you or your partner to withdraw.
- One or both of you may begin to hide expenses from the other or start to wonder if the other is keeping things hidden.
It’s important for you and your loved one to have a shared vision for your life together. Being willing to take the risk to open up and tell your partner how you see your future can be frightening. But, if you are willing to trust that person with your dreams you can create a prosperous life together and be closer than you could have ever imagined. Allowing your partner to understand why you do the things you do helps him or her to know and love the real you. That deep love and acceptance is what most of us are longing for.
Every day you avoid talking about money with your partner can grow the distance between you as a couple and cost you emotionally and financially.
Money Coaching for Couples Can Help You:
- Be more comfortable talking to your significant other about money, your concerns about their spending habits or debt.
- Learn to understand your partners needs and wants.
- Explore each other’s financial history to better understand where they are coming from in their financial decisions.
- Plan for your future together as a team.
- Understand and trust one another more.
- Find your voice, so you can advocate for your personal needs in your relationship.
- Be equal partners in your relationship, working toward shared goals for you and your loved ones.
It may be scary to face your partner and tell them about your needs, wants and dreams but the rewards for saying yes to this process are immeasurable. The trust and intimacy that come with this process are truly amazing.
Bringing couples together and seeing them begin to work together instead of feeling like they have to protect themselves from one another is so rewarding and is one of the reasons I continue to do this work.
to Create a Shared Financial Future
Certified Money and Business Coach
I think of myself more as a self-love coach than as a money coach. I help my clients see their value, so they come to believe they are worthy of more. Sure, I also teach them to make spending plans and how to get out of debt and save. More importantly, I help them to see that by taking care of their money they can better take care of themselves and the people they love.
Self-love? What does that have to do with managing money and financial success, you may ask?
Kind Words from My Clients
We worked with Sheryl during a time of many transitions: Dane was finishing grad school and getting ready to launch his career as a teacher, and we were planning to get married in a few months. We had been living together for several years but we had not combined our finances, and we needed to figure out how to do so.
Nora Frazin, LCSW
Dane Haiken, Teacher