I went to visit an old boyfriend this past weekend. It was an eye opening experience. I hadn’t seen or spoken to him in over 30 years. It made me a bit sad. I had always thought we were in a casual relationship. That he liked me but I was sure that was all.
I learned over the weekend that he had been very much in love with me and at the time I was so unsure of myself that I couldn’t imagine anyone loving me and so I missed it. I let him go even though I loved him very much. I had been living the story of the woman who was un-loveable. I thought no man would really find me attractive and really want to commit to loving me. From believing that I created that reality in my life. I couldn’t see the clues he left me that said otherwise. I focused on anything he did that could be interpreted as that he didn’t really love me.
A lesson I have been learning more and more this year is that I have a choice about how I see and experience the world. 
We tell ourselves stories about who we think we are. And that story is behind how we see the world and the opportunities we allow ourselves to notice, the actions we take and how much joy we allow into our lives.
We do this about money too. Some of us have cast ourselves in the role of the person who “just isn’t a money person” or we tell ourselves and others that we “aren’t good with money”. Then we look for evidence that proves those statements correct. We may look at our past and see that we created debt or wound up paying a lot of late fees because we were afraid to open the mail. No matter what positive actions we take then to change the situation we wind up reminding ourselves that we’re “not a money person” and we sabotage our efforts so that we can prove ourselves right.
It is a very frustrating experience.
So how do you turn this around and become someone who is great at managing money?
You tell a different story.
Cast yourself in a new role and then look for evidence that supports the new identity you have declared for yourself.
That looks like celebrating even the smallest steps you take, like getting an app for budgeting, saving $10.00 this month, putting a plan together to pay off your debt or hiring a money coach like myself to teach you new skills and support you in changing your mind about who you are. Then you can have the life you really want. You collect data that shows you are good with money and tell yourself over and over and over again that you are a wonderful money manager who makes wise financial decisions and attracts lots of wealth.
It’s a fake it until you make it process.
There will be days when you succeed and others where the old thoughts will sneak back in. After all they have been around most likely for years. 
You need to be vigilant in noticing when those nasty thoughts invade and then turn them around as quickly as you can reminding yourself of the successes you have been collecting so you can show yourself that the negative messages are not the truth anymore. It’s an ongoing process but so worthwhile. It will allow you to become the person you wish to be and have the things in life you desire.
Please keep in touch and let me know how things are going.